A Slave to Drugs No More

Sick and Frustrated
June 8, 2017
A Few Simple Rules
June 15, 2017

A Slave to Drugs No More

books on a bench in the school year

I was born, in Trenton, NJ. My dad was an alcoholic/addict who was never a part of my life so I was raised by my mom and my older sister. We have different dads he wasn’t around either so it was 3 of us in a one bedroom house. My mom worked 3 jobs to give my sister and I a better life she would go days without eating. I never truly understood but I do now, a mother’s love. She is the person I hurt the most it was just the 3 of us till she married my 1st step dad Billy. He was a very abusive heroin addict just a horrible role model who used to beat my mom unconsious (daily) at first it was just my mom but that all changed when I was 8 when I felt I needed to protect my mom. I was ready, I walked in after school to find him over my mom choking her so I did what I thought would get him off her so I stabbed him in the shoulder. That’s when he hit me for the first time and knocked me unconscious then took the knife and sliced my foot. That didn’t wake me up but the salt he put in the cut woke me up. After that it was my duty to protect her so he adopted hitting her less and took his anger out on me more and I was ok with that. I prayed for his death everyday then Christmas came early and he OD’d and I remember the cops telling us and me having the biggest smile.

I got into a little trouble nothing serious till I was 12 and stole my mom’s car got into an accident and killed 2 people that’s the day my life was forever changed in the blink of an eye. I got 6 1/2 years in Jamesburg it’s where my addiction started the guards there were evil people they would give us coke and speed and make us fight the other inmates and if u didn’t they would beat you. They would bet on the fight and if u lost them money they’d beat ya so it was a lose – lose really. They treated us like animals they made us eat off the floor, lock u in solitary for months if the beatings didn’t work. So for the next 21 straight years I lived in hell I didn’t wanna live but I was too scared to try suicide but I wished I would just od and die every day then one day I just woke up sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was tired of living in fear thinking any fast movement was someone trying to hurt me tired of being a slave to drugs fueling my every thought every second of everyday so I surrendered on March 15, 2017.

I’ll give up the battle on drugs to win the war for my life and I’m mad I didn’t try this sooner. I was hopeless and broken The Watershed saved my life. Here I learned how to have patience and ways to deal with my problems I found my Higher Power, the thing I blamed everything on I felt forsaken now I have a connection I will never give up. I’m genuinely happy. I love people again. More importantly I love myself more and more. I dunno if I’ll ever be ready to go home but now I can say I’m a Floridian. Anybody with reservations – don’t leave before the miracle happens it’s worth it and if no one told u they love u know I do.

James R.