This is how my life got started: As a child growing up I was very, curious about a lot of things. I always wanted to know what a person was saying or doing, I called it learning another person I would say it was being “nosey”. I can remember being in elementary school answering all the questions and getting them right of course I studied, I was never a follower, everyone did what each other did but not me I did the opposite and there for I didn’t have any friends, I tried to reason with them but they didn’t want to do what I wanted to do, so I became the teacher’s pet, she was my friend. My fellow school mates didn’t like me they called me names, but I continued to go about my day as nothing was wrong, you see that’s when bottling everything inside pushing things down came about, I act like it didn’t bother me that I didn’t have friends but all along it did. When I went home my mom was working a lot so we had a house keeper to take care of us while my mom was away. They cooked cleaned and made sure everything was ok. Of course the house keeper was my mother’s brother which was my uncle Wayne, he was an alcoholic, drank all the time and plus I seen my father at a young age drinking beer, so when I go to family functions that’s all I saw people talking loud playing numbers and playing cards, laughing looking like they were having the time of their lives.
As I got older I thought it was ok to act that way at home but not in school. I always made straight A’s maybe 1 B. I felt like I was on my way to success, got to middle school caption of the cheerleading team/ in the band–first Clarinet chair and I played softball catcher all at the same time and was on the spelling B Team, I had arrived I thought all this that what I was doing in my mind I was going to be the best because I was the best. My mom instilled that in me. I got to high school got to the 9th grade and by then I had at least 3 girls that were my friend I thought, they came to my house and they had something in there hands it was weed they asked me have I ever tried weed, I told them no I don’t do that, so they called me a wierdo, ok mind you I said that I didn’t follow the crowd but being in 9th grade it was a whole new phase for me. We were walking to school and they had another one me being curious I said where are you getting this stuff from they told me none of your business, they fired it up I told them that I smoked weeds yesterday they said really I said yes, they said ok let her hit it. I tried it. Fell in love. I was laughing, had the munchies and did I say everything was funny. I started thinking about smoking everyday all day. So I knew people who had it started getting it buying it and it became something I had to have. My grades went down I got to my 12th grade year dropped out of school had a week before graduation only needed 1/2 credit that I could get are make up in a weeks’ time, so my mom’s sent me to job core where I received my high school diploma plus they sent me one from my high school and got a trade, finished the program in 3months. Which it takes 6 months to a year to finish. I left they gave me my ring and my money for finishing and I rushed back home for what reason I didn’t know why.
My journey began where I learned how to snort cocaine/smoke crack/ sell drugs/ drink the finest liquor and become a dealer when I got in the game I felt like that was my dream job, that went downhill. Tried rehab for the first time it was a 5 day Detox at a state ran facility still didn’t really understand… got out did it again went to a Christian based facility and it didn’t work either, kept getting high selling. Until I went to this other treatment center to stay clean for 5years why because I had found the love of my life he’s going to keep me clean, didn’t happen, married a guy in rehab, left him came to The Watershed got my stuff together and learned something about me and my addiction got a sponsor and a home group and I worked the steps. Now I have been clean for 5 1/2 years and God willing I will keep going. 7/13/2011 is my sobriety date and as long as I don’t pick up no matter what I am a success for the day, so when you feel like using call someone pick up that hundred pound phone call sober support. My name is Wykesa and I am a recovering alcoholic and yes an addict as well can’t never have one without the other. Set yourself up for recovery not addiction.