How I Found Myself

Depths of Hopelessness
March 13, 2017
A Different Planet
March 24, 2017

How I Found Myself

I have been an addict ever since I can remember.  Growing up, I moved a lot.  I was born in Scotland and moved to the States when I was 10.  The transition was tough and I had a hard time making friends.  I was emotionally and physically abused throughout my childhood and teenage years.  At thirteen I began smoking and drinking regularly.  At 15 I had my first overdose in school.  This didn’t stop me from using again.  I overdosed a few more times in high school and my mother kicked me out at 17 for using cocaine daily.

I experimented plenty throughout my early twenties.  Nothing was fun unless I was high.  I got drunk one night and stole a car and crashed it into a tree.  This was funny to me.  I had no remorse and had plenty of excuses for my drinking.  At 25 I met the love of my life and quieted down on the partying.  When I was 27 I had my daughter.  I separated from her father one year later.  I didn’t take it very well and wound up abusing opioids.  I ran out of my stash a few months later and realized that using was no longer a choice.  I was sick without it.  I took anything I could to keep the withdrawals at bay.  I abused kratom very regularly as well.  I was up to 90 grams per day.  It was ridiculous. 

A year and many detox centers later I checked into treatment.  I made the mistake of believing that all I needed was some clean time.  I was so wrong.  I was using a month after I was discharged.  I started making money illegally.  I lost my daughter.  I just kept going.  I hated myself.
I finally came to Florida to seek real help 9 months ago.  From the very beginning I accepted that I was powerless.  I took every suggestion from The Watershed.  I used every single tool I was given.  I humbled myself.  I stayed at the Watershed for 4 months.  In the beginning I was terrified and wanted to go home.  By the end I was sad to be leaving my sober community. 

The staff at the Watershed helped me in so many ways.  I realized after I left that if you want recovery badly enough, you can find it anywhere.  I now live in a sober house with 10 amazing women.  I am about to sign a lease on my first apartment in years.  My daughter is moving back home with me.  I have a job at her school.  I have recovery.  I go to meetings regularly and have a sponsor.  I know that my life would not look like this had I not done it right this time.  I owe a lot of my sobriety to The Watershed.  They cared about my future when nobody else did.

Sharon M.