I have been an addict ever since I can remember. Growing up, I moved a lot. I was born in Scotland and moved to the States when I was 10. The transition was tough and I had a hard time making friends. I was emotionally and physically abused throughout my childhood and teenage years. At thirteen I began smoking and drinking regularly. At 15 I had my first overdose in school. This didn’t stop me from using again. I overdosed a few more times in high school and my mother kicked me out at 17 for using cocaine daily.
I experimented plenty throughout my early twenties. Nothing was fun unless I was high. I got drunk one night and stole a car and crashed it into a tree. This was funny to me. I had no remorse and had plenty of excuses for my drinking. At 25 I met the love of my life and quieted down on the partying. When I was 27 I had my daughter. I separated from her father one year later. I didn’t take it very well and wound up abusing opioids. I ran out of my stash a few months later and realized that using was no longer a choice. I was sick without it. I took anything I could to keep the withdrawals at bay. I abused kratom very regularly as well. I was up to 90 grams per day. It was ridiculous.
A year and many detox centers later I checked into treatment. I made the mistake of believing that all I needed was some clean time. I was so wrong. I was using a month after I was discharged. I started making money illegally. I lost my daughter. I just kept going. I hated myself.
I finally came to Florida to seek real help 9 months ago. From the very beginning I accepted that I was powerless. I took every suggestion from The Watershed. I used every single tool I was given. I humbled myself. I stayed at the Watershed for 4 months. In the beginning I was terrified and wanted to go home. By the end I was sad to be leaving my sober community.
The staff at the Watershed helped me in so many ways. I realized after I left that if you want recovery badly enough, you can find it anywhere. I now live in a sober house with 10 amazing women. I am about to sign a lease on my first apartment in years. My daughter is moving back home with me. I have a job at her school. I have recovery. I go to meetings regularly and have a sponsor. I know that my life would not look like this had I not done it right this time. I owe a lot of my sobriety to The Watershed. They cared about my future when nobody else did.