The reality is however, that recovery will likely never have any staying power, without reaching out for and receiving help from someone besides “self”. The reason for this is that one can not be “powerful” and “powerless” at the same time. Once a person determines an area of powerlessness within themselves, there is then a logical and unavoidable need to gain a working solution outside of them. In recovery, this begins with obtaining a Home Group, (a group of people to receive support from and be accountable to); a Sponsor, (someone to receive support/direction from and to be accountable to); a God of their own understanding, (to develop an intimate relationship with through the 12-steps being used on a daily basis).
For this purpose of this discussion, we are going to focus on Sponsorship. One of the best ways to begin is by asking questions as a means of gathering information, so a well informed decision can be made and healthy action taken. We will cover fourteen of the most commonly asked questions and their answers. Today we’ll look at the first three:
To get a sponsor, all you have to do is “ASK”. If you are at a speaker meeting and like what the speaker had to say, you can ask them after the meeting. You can, (during the “introduction go around”), also announce that you are in need of numbers & a sponsor. You can get numbers and begin calling them: Sometimes by talking to someone over the phone, you may find it easier to get a feel of them (without visual distractions). You can check with the group’s chair-person, (as many groups have a sponsorship “list” or list of phone numbers for members). If you know someone else in the meeting, you can inquire with them for people they might suggest. The main thing is to just take ACTION!
Sometimes this happens…it can be for various reasons such as: They may be sponsoring a lot of people already; they may have a schedule that wouldn’t allow them to be there for you the way you may need them to be; they may not be at a place in their own recovery that they feel comfortable sponsoring, etc… If someone says no, DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY… chalk it up to God pointing you in a different direction and keep asking!
A temporary sponsor is someone who knows from the start that you need someone for “right now”…but that it may change down the road. That way you don’t have to feel pressured to “stay with them” and they know that this may be a temporary situation. A sponsor, (on the other hand), is the person that you have decided to stay with until and unless something changes in your future. Having a temporary sponsor is not that unusual, because how can you REALLY know for sure that you are with the right person until you have had time to be around them? Some people say, “If you want a temporary sponsor, you must want a temporary recovery.” In the context that you are asking someone with no intention to use them – this statement would be true. However if, (for example), you are living somewhere temporarily for a short period of time, asking someone to temporarily sponsor you during that time doesn’t reflect a lack of seriousness…it reflects just the opposite! Often times a temporary sponsor will become a permanent sponsor. The main thing is to remember, “I” am my own worst enemy. Pretty much ANYONE with recovery “other than me” is going to be an improvement and an asset!